I've lost 3 friends in the past year.....because of my behaviour. I lost 2 within a day of each other. I trusted them. I told them everything and they left. No goodbye, nothing. Does it still affect me? Oh ja, everyday. I miss them. I miss the long conversations about everything. I miss everything. Then I've lost my best friend. He's always been there for me no matter what but I've pushed him too hard. I never expected him to stay but I hoped. He has every right to leave. I can't believe he stayed as long as he did. It's been 2 weeks since we last spoke, for us that's forever. He's never gone this long without talking to me. But I understand, he needs to protect himself. I hurt people sometimes on purpose and sometimes I do it on accident. I think I need to think about others and just stop what I'm doing. I'm so sorry to all 3 people and miss them everyday so much! I don't know if I could ever do anything to bring them back but I wish I could. I hope they find happiness and enjoy their lives to the fullest. I hope I can find happiness one day but for the time being, I'm devastated beyond belief.