Coming To As
Entry posted by JessieJoy ·
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I joined AS about a year and a half ago, but left shortly afterward because I wasn't ready to deal with my CSA.
Now, I'm fully engaged in dealing with it -- all aspects of it. I see my T twice a week and I spend every other day of the week working on therapy homework, reading books about my illnesses, reading articles online about things like Learned Helplessness and what I can do to fix the issues I have in my current relationships with friends.
But coming back to AS is proving to be a very powerful experience for me, for several reasons.
1. being able to help others on the forums with their struggles makes me feel less alone in my own struggles.
2. receiving feedback from others is proving to be a very important element to helping me heal some of the pain I feel.
3. reading everyone's stories is a profoundly humbling experience. What happened in my life was bad, and at times I fall into the whole, "nobody had it worse than me" mindset. But yes, I have read many stories in the past few days of ppl whose experiences were way worse than mine. The perspective that gives me on what happened to me makes me feel that I can heal -- because if others experienced worse situations and they can heal, so can I.
4. i have few friends. and I know no one in real life who struggles with these same issues. so finding a community of people who are struggling the same way I am, with some of the same issues I am, in entirely unique ways from how I'm coping is unbelievably valuable.
I almost can't wait to see my T on Tuesday because I have so much to tell her about what I've been up to this weekend.
So, I want to thank everybody for coming here and having the courage to share and allowing me to offer my thoughts and advice and concern. I think AS is going to make a big difference in my healing.
And I want to make a difference in your healing, too. To that end, let me present you with the above image of my Pocket Giraffe, Chester.
If you ever need a pocket rider, Chester and I are always available to accompany you to any difficult sitution and to give you whatever support you need.
Chester is a pocket animal -- in that he (and the rest of the pocket animals) live in the pockets of jeans and coats and hoodies and eat the pocket lint that accumulates there. Pocket animals are friends we can carry with us anywhere -- that no one has to know about -- and like all animals, they are non-judgemental, loving, giving and special.
I have an entire menagerie of pocket animals -- two cows, a lion, a zebra, a bunny, a goat, a horse, a cat -- pretty much farm animals and safari animals.
If a giraffe is not gonna cut it for you, have no fear, pocket animals come in as many varieties of speicies as do regular animals.
So if you need that extra support, just pick a pocket animal from the menagerie and know that we'll be with you through you bad days, your dark days, and your nerve-racking situations.
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