My best friend went home a few weeks ago. I cried for the first week because I miss him so much. He's my rock when I need strength and I've needed a lot of strength lately. I remember some new things and he said they were the bad word. He keeps trying to get me to understand that it happened to me. I'm struggling so much with that because I don't believe it. The person who hurt me was my ex husband. I'm struggling because I've read that it's wifely duties.....I know Tumblr isn't the best place for advise but it does sometimes have good information but my friend says to stop listening to it. He said what happened was bad & my new memories don't make it better.
Today I got fuzzy, he tried to keep me present. He doesn't believe that sometimes I'm not me. He made me repeat some things and send him a photo of a drawing he made me to do to stay present. His plan was good but my others weren't happy with him. They were mad that he doesn't believe in them. We sent him the photo but it triggered me. A friend used to send me photos saying hi and the others wanted to do it to my friend but then they realised it was him. Anyways, then he realised I was fading so he asked my name. I said Anna Maria...I've no idea who that is...I've never heard the name before. My friend is worried. But I did come back faster than before. He thinks I've been traumatised and all these stupid memories are causing me to switch. Just not a good day today. I missing some friends and I miss my best friend. Sorry for rambling but I just needed to put it down.