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A Question/any Thoughts/anyone Else Dealt With This?

ImScared

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Things have been bubbling up inside me lately, my daughter just turned 21 and I've been thinking that maybe I'm wrong for keeping things from her about her father. I don't know. The last time she saw him, she was 4 3/4 years old. He promised to come to her birthday party. He called on her birthday to tell me to tell her that he wouldn't be coming. I told him to break her heart himself. I put her on the phone and he told her. I was left with the aftermath but we moved forward. I've never told her much about her father. If she asks, I try to answer to the best of my ability. Most of the time, she didn't like my answers and she stopped asking me over time. I know that makes me horrible but I didn't want to be the bitter ex who badmouthed him. I also figured if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Was I right or wrong...I'll never know. I made my choice and live with it daily. I found out in her teens, she had started asking my siblings about her daddy. They told her that he was a bum, drank too much, and did drugs. They didn't know about the other stuff. She asked me if it was true what her Auntie & Uncle had told her. I said yes. She has asked me why I didn't tell & I've explained the whole if you've nothing nice to say....anyways, now she's 21. Do I ever need to tell her about him or our marriage? Is it wrong if I keep it from her? If I tell her, how do I do it so I don't hurt her? I don't even know why I'm even considering telling her but if anyone has advise or any help, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you



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