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A Question/any Thoughts/anyone Else Dealt With This?



Things have been bubbling up inside me lately, my daughter just turned 21 and I've been thinking that maybe I'm wrong for keeping things from her about her father. I don't know. The last time she saw him, she was 4 3/4 years old. He promised to come to her birthday party. He called on her birthday to tell me to tell her that he wouldn't be coming. I told him to break her heart himself. I put her on the phone and he told her. I was left with the aftermath but we moved forward. I've never told her much about her father. If she asks, I try to answer to the best of my ability. Most of the time, she didn't like my answers and she stopped asking me over time. I know that makes me horrible but I didn't want to be the bitter ex who badmouthed him. I also figured if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. Was I right or wrong...I'll never know. I made my choice and live with it daily. I found out in her teens, she had started asking my siblings about her daddy. They told her that he was a bum, drank too much, and did drugs. They didn't know about the other stuff. She asked me if it was true what her Auntie & Uncle had told her. I said yes. She has asked me why I didn't tell & I've explained the whole if you've nothing nice to say....anyways, now she's 21. Do I ever need to tell her about him or our marriage? Is it wrong if I keep it from her? If I tell her, how do I do it so I don't hurt her? I don't even know why I'm even considering telling her but if anyone has advise or any help, I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you


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