Apples to Apples

I can relate. I hate that either of us can, but I'm glad I'm seeing stuff that I am relating to because now I feel like I'm going to be able to get a lot of what I'm looking for here. I'm sorry all this is controlling you and I hate that feeling myself. What type of help have you received besides here? hope to keep in touch!

I can also relate to this, the self loathing is the worst, when I go to bed I pray I will never wake up, it's like being in hell, your always saying to yourself when are things going to go right when will I be pain free, like thousands off others I can't be open and honest to my family people probably think I'm nuts, truth is it is not nuts just to many bad things have happend I just want peace, i would love to be happy but think that will never happen to me. Does it really get any better?