I hate that chat is down. I've been struggling with some new revelations, and some new concepts. Like for one, I am doing fine. Yeah my wife's car was repossessed. Yes it looks like a bankruptcy is my best option at the moment. Does this hurt my pride, oh yeah. Does it hurt me? Not really. I'm still working, paying the rent, we have electricity and insurance and strength, both in each other and in ourselves. If I were to die today I would know that I had not broken God's laws, only disappointed myself a few times.
I'm coming to peace with myself, and my place in this world. I don't like it, where I am, so I'm looking at a few concessions today to make tomorrow possible. I don't want to continue in this same cycle with the same intensity. Traveling in small circles at high rates of speed is only going to succeed in my getting nowhere new, and making me dizzy enough to not be able to tell the difference.
This is me admitting that I have been doing it wrong all these years, realizing that I have been so busy basing my worth on the judgements of others that I have short sold myself for as far back as I can remember. Whether I entered this pattern willingly, or was pushed into it by those that programmed me to do for them with disregard for self, is beside the point. It is time for me to face my dependence on the comfort in this consistency, and branch out to see what is really out there.
This is me. This is my self, my soul, my warrior spirit waking.
This is me. This is my today, the culmination of MY yesterdays.
This is me. Twisting and turning and transforming into Tomorrow.
This is me. This is far too daring to be them.
This is me. With intent, and clarity of thought, Me.
This is me. There is no fear here, no cause to run, no thing to lose.
This is me. I can not be taken, I can not be lost, I can not be stolen.
This is me. I am as strong as I need to be.
This is me. I am strong because I love.
This is me. I am love, of self and of others.
This is me. Have you met me?