I'm going to talk about my miscarriage and 2 abortions
I lost a pregnancy due to my ex husband. That's the way I feel because we didn't realise I was pregnant or maybe we did (I don't remember) but he continued to have very rough sex with me until the day I miscarried. No one knows about it because it was before we were married and I would have been disowned if my family knew. I got pregnant again 2 more times before we got married and I chose to terminate the pregnancies. (Please don't hate me, it was the best choice at the time for all of us). The thing is, I have no memories of this time. I know I must have been in pain. I know certain facts....I didn't take any pain medicine the doctor recommended for fear that my parents would find out, I had to work or my parents would find out, I lived life like it was normal, I don't remember anything else. I remember being under for the first termination and I think I was almost 12 weeks? I'm not sure, I remember that my blood pressure was dropping, I remember hearing the doctor say that they were losing me but then nothing.....anyone have any idea how to find these memories? Does anyone have this problem?? I'm sorry if this bothers anyone!!! It's just on my mind and I can't get rid of it. Thank you for any advise!!!