I am feeling much better today. Thanks to this website, I was able to let things out and read helpful responds from my post. A lot of things I have already have known in process of healing, but now I feel like I can really practice them in my life.
My problem is very much fear driven like others. I knew this before, but I truthfully realized now that fear is not real. What is not real can not hurt me. I will not live and controlled by fear. I think if I can control my fear, then my triggers may be controlled as well. According to the self-help book I read, being logical really helps in healing process. It is easy said than done, but I think I can finally do it after letting some things out in forums and my blog.
I know that most of us feel as though we lost ourselves and constantly try to redefine or find ourselves again. I think that is actually easier than what we make it out to be. We can also define ourselves for what we are not. Look at your fears and look at your triggers. I mean, I want you to really really think about them. Why do you have that fear? Why do you have that trigger? Now, does it make sense why you are being controlled by that fear or trigger? Can you define yourself to be who you are with that fear or trigger? Are you that person within your fear or trigger? You are not. You are not that person in your fear or your trigger. That's who you are not and that defines you. You are safe now. You are living your life. You are getting better now. That defines who you are. Don't look so far to find yourself. You have been there all along.