My last T session. At least with my current T. And I'm properly going to miss her. She was amazing.
Today, today was sort of funny in a way. Really really sad, loads of serious stuff, but also funny. We were talking about my mum and the abuse, the violence, the lack of care, and also the love she showed - the Jekyll and Hyde character and she asked what it was I'd want to say to her if she were sat there now (she's long passed away). My answer was quite simple, it was just 'Why?'. We talked some more around that, and I said about not being able to help thinking it was all connected to when I was 3 and spoke up about the abuse by my uncle against me and my sister. Well that was it! She went from totally none opinionated to telling me straight out that I was not to blame for anything that had happened to me, I was just a child when the stuff with my uncle happened and did what every child is told to do and should do, I told someone. What happened to us was abhorrent. And anything that happened after that was his responsibility. As for the rape, I was not responsible for the orgasm. I've paraphrased, these aren't exact words. But I was a little taken aback - in a good way though. That someone would care that much. It's left me feeling really tired and drained emotionally though today and just feeling really really sad. I said it was funny because it's just strange a T expressing their opinion. And at the end she was in tears. And I just wanted to hug her. But in a weird way that was nice to see too because it means she really cared about me. It wasn't just an act or a job. It never felt like one with her TBF. But you just never know do you. There were so many things I wanted to say to her, to thank her for. Mainly for just being a support. But words escaped me and time ran out. So it's a sad farewell. But I start with a new T in a couple of weeks so we'll see how that goes.