A divorce and its history
Entry posted by sk8er in Heart thoughts ·
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My dad and my stepmom are getting a divorce. Those are the news at my home, or...well It's not my home, and you'll know why In a second.
For context, just a few weeks before my stepmom asked my dad for a divorce, she wanted to claim the house as her own, In case anything would happen to my dad (which I understand because my dad shouldn't be working at his age and has had a lot of problems regarding economic safety as well as his own personal health). He' s 75 years old, just so you get the picture. I can't possibly understand what It's like to keep working at his age, supporting everyone still...and although my brother and I work, school Is still so expensive.
I've always suggested dropping out to my dad because of economic reasons, but he always refuses and somehow still tries to support me. I also noticed that whenever I would work more at my job then go to school he would increasingly get more and more stressed...he would tell me to just focus on school, not to worry about anything else. I can see those things affect him deeply. His mental health has always been very unstable, especially with stress and anxiety, and If being out of school was causing much more stress, then I was just going to stay. This Is besides the point, but, It's important to know that my dad works REALLY hard for the things that he wants.
He hasn't been the best father, and although I can't know what his relationships were like, at least It seemed that he didn't know how to be a good partner either. I don't blame my stepmom for wanting to get divorced...I'm surprised she didn't do It sooner. What I didn't like was how she did It. And no, I don't think there's a "right" way to get divorced, of course It's always gonna be messy. I'm not even talking about that...this Is where we catch up to the beginning to her claiming the house.
She claimed she wanted the house In her name for her own life security, In case anything would happen. Which like I said In the beginning, It only made sense to me. Nothing wrong with that. My concern was, however, that she might want to kick me and my brother out of the house since she's tried to do It multiple times now (she has never really liked us), and the thing about having a house that you own with people you don't like living In It, Is that you can call the police to take them away, and they have all the right to do so. Because from that point on we are strangers In an unknown establishment. I do believe she's that kind of person to do that. My dad at the time disagreed, but oh boy did that not age well for him.
I still believe she partly wanted home security, especially long-term. But, I wasn't sure how much she also wanted us out...or, how quick. Then my dad did something stupid. He trusted his wife lol...
He talked to her (apparently) about signing a contract to give her full posession of the house, as long as she wouldn't kick us out. She said yes, then he signed the contract (although I think It was In form of a donation so It wasn't as official?? but anyways). And then what we all predicted would happen, happened. She asked my dad for a divorce minutes after, not only to kick us out, but to kick EVERYONE out...including my father. Small plotwist that I wasn't expecting.
I thought my dad was a little safer than us, but not really no...
Luckily It's a procedure that can be "taken back" or "undone", and my dad's woking with a lawyer now....or something. With the help of my big sister though, because without her my dad would be completely lost. He even told me so, he was like, "welp, we're gonna lose everything". That's for trusting on your wife who *mainly* cares about herself.
She's treated us like crap In the past though. I'm not just saying that she's selfish because of this recent event, no, no. She's demonstrated quite a few times to my siblings and I that she does NOT want us around or likes us In any form. Actually, from her own words....she didn't consider us getting involved much into "her marriage" with my dad, because at the time my siblings and I were living with my mom, until you know, she died. No one was expecting that one to happen, and apparently It ruined her plans. Well, let me tell you It ruined a bunch of other plans too, you know? like for example, I wanted to have my mother see me graduate high school, but you see plans change, and you adapt to the circumstances.
She could've at least tried to have a friendship with me and my brother. We didn't ask to live with them either and It was hard for us too but we just worked with It. It honestly feels like she's been denying our stay since we got here. And back then we were only kids, what were we supposed to do? or go?
I can't completely disregard that she's tried however, because I know she has, but It was so very little. The bare minimum. An unfortunetly you can't build something good with anybody usinng the bare minimum. Especially as absent as she Is and has always been. Always keeping her distance you know. Thing Is I never minded the distance, I just didn't understand why she would then punish us for shit when she was practically a stranger. Weird, weird behaviour.
Part 2 I'll post tomorrow probably
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