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behindthesehazeleyes

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I feel like my life is just going through motions every day. I’m pretty depressed today. The thoughts of SH are ever present. It makes me want to scream.

 

 

*SH TRIGGER*

 

 

 

is it horrible to say I want to scream by cutting because I don’t know how else to speak?

im afraid to go to therapy and tell him (my T) this. And therapy is so fucking expensive.

it’s All I wanna do but I know it does nothing. I feel like somewhat of a failure for not self harming…like…it sounds so backwards…I have the thoughts. The thoughts go on and on, on repeat. I think part of me thinks I deserve to be tormented…if not, why couldn’t I just stop this?! Or at the very least, self harm and get some relief…

 

 

*END of TRIGGER

 

i took one of my moms klonopin. So maybe I can sleep and my mind calms down.

 

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