Jump to content
Some browsers are having difficulty with functionality. Please try an alternative browser, if this is happening to you. If you are having connectivity issues beyond this or or need assistance, email us at: aftersilence.moderators@gmail.com! ×
  • entries
    8
  • comments
    5
  • views
    1,483

:/


moop

470 views

I feel swallowed by shame.

I don't understand how I have managed to survive for this long. I don't mean that in a bad way, the amount of trauma I've had is just hitting me hard. A lot of the time I feel numb to how bad things really were.

It doesn't feel real. That kid getting yelled at, watching holes get punched in walls, getting raped... I know her, but she doesn't feel like me.

I don't know how to process how violated and dehumanized I feel.

I feel like trash. Worthless. I want to cry, but I don't feel real enough to make it happen. I feel repulsive. Disgusting. I want to throw my body into a meat grinder. I feel like a bloody pile of shredded inflamed skin and crushed bones.

It hurts so much. Like a punch to the gut that never ends.

1 Comment


Recommended Comments

You have written words that express my thoughts, feelings, and gut wrenching internal truth. I dont know what to say in support other than I see you, I understand and you are not alone 💛 B

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...