“I love you,” you said to me that night,
You love me, I told myself when I woke in the morning.
You seem certain about this.
It seems there isn’t much you know though.
You don’t know that I scrubbed my skin until it turned red and broke
I felt unpure.
Don’t know I couldn’t sleep, I still can’t.
One eye open because I am scared.
Things you do know terrify me.
You know where I stay, where I sleep.
You know I have a beauty mark under my left breast.
I shouldn’t have to worry about you knowing too much.
That isn’t love.
So when you said
”I love you,” with your hands around my neck.
What you really meant was you love what I let you do to me.
The power you had over me you love.
Don’t say you miss me, you never did.
That’s why you always made things about my body.
“I need to see you, I crave you.”
You crave my body because you could never see my soul.