i had my first nightmare about him. its been about two weeks so i don't know why they are just starting now. my depression is getting bad again. i haven't showered in two days,i am isolating myself, i don't eat, i don't sleep, i dont care if i go to class or get a bad grade. i feel numb, like im going through the motions. i thought of hurting myself like i used to but im almost 5 years clean. its so tempting but i know im stronger than that. i feel sick a lot. all my friends keep saying "sorry i know you don tlike to talk about guys but...." its driving me fucking insane. do they even care?