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my story

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lanie

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i had my first nightmare about him. its been about two weeks so i don't know why they are just starting now. my depression is getting bad again. i haven't showered in two days,i am isolating myself,  i don't eat, i don't sleep, i dont care if i go to class or get a bad grade. i feel numb, like im going through the motions. i thought of hurting myself like i used to but im almost 5 years clean. its so tempting but i know im stronger than that. i feel sick a lot. all my friends keep saying "sorry i know you don tlike to talk about guys but...." its driving me fucking insane. do they even care? 

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I’ve read through your entries. Wow. You are so so strong. I find myself relating to your situation quite a lot. I only got sexually assaulted a few weeks ago. It’s been hard. Some people have told me that growth isn’t linear. They’re right. You will have tough days and you’ll have days where it’s almost normal again. I know it’s hard but try to at least take a shower. Or if you can, a bath. You don’t even have to wash your hair. Just letting water run over your body even for a few minutes will help. You are right. You are strong, you cannot give in to self harm. Try to pick up some other habits that benefit you. Or, watch a comfort show to get your mind off things. I recommend the good place. It helps me a lot and doesn’t trigger me in the slightest. Of course, you may be different but find something like this that helps take your mind off things. It might not seem like it, but your friends care. They might not truly understand what you’re going through if they haven’t personally experienced it. I know I was the same beforehand. If they start talking about men around you and that triggers you, just leave. They can’t get upset at you and if they do, they’re not your friends. Friends don’t do that. Find someone to talk to about this. If you need to rant freely, you’re always open to message me.  ❤️

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5 hours ago, redroses said:

I’ve read through your entries. Wow. You are so so strong. I find myself relating to your situation quite a lot. I only got sexually assaulted a few weeks ago. It’s been hard. Some people have told me that growth isn’t linear. They’re right. You will have tough days and you’ll have days where it’s almost normal again. I know it’s hard but try to at least take a shower. Or if you can, a bath. You don’t even have to wash your hair. Just letting water run over your body even for a few minutes will help. You are right. You are strong, you cannot give in to self harm. Try to pick up some other habits that benefit you. Or, watch a comfort show to get your mind off things. I recommend the good place. It helps me a lot and doesn’t trigger me in the slightest. Of course, you may be different but find something like this that helps take your mind off things. It might not seem like it, but your friends care. They might not truly understand what you’re going through if they haven’t personally experienced it. I know I was the same beforehand. If they start talking about men around you and that triggers you, just leave. They can’t get upset at you and if they do, they’re not your friends. Friends don’t do that. Find someone to talk to about this. If you need to rant freely, you’re always open to message me.  ❤️

Thank you so much. I also was assaulted a few weeks ago. three weeks ago as of tomorrow actually. i am also here if you want to message me. i finally showered today. its been rough again. youre right. there are days where it feels like im normal again. but then there are really really bad days where i cant seem to leave my bed. luckily i have a roommate who really cares and helps me. I hope you have someone like that for you. feel free to message me anytime. I would be honored to be apart of your support system. 

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I'm proud of you for showering and reaching out for help here. There will be good days and bad days. Just know that whatever you need to feel is acceptable here. And you don't need to go into the details all at once. I'd love to be a part of your support system too, but i cant promise i'll always know what to say.

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