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my story

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does the fear ever go away?


lanie

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every time i leave my dorm building, i cant breathe. I cant really be around anyone. I have cancelled plans with three people this week because i don't have the energy and I dont want to see them. whenever i am walking to class I feel like he is about to pop up behind me or he is following me. when i hear foot steps behind me I will walk out of my way to make sure that whoever is behind me isnt following me. my heart drops when i hear people near me for the sheer fact it could be him.  i keep thinking maybe i should find a guy and force myself to sleep with him because maybe he didnt ruin me? maybe i am okay and being over dramatic. maybe i can be intimate with someone without crying or freaking out. but i know i cant. because he did ruin me. he ruined all of me and i dont know how to fix it. my roommate walked into our schools counseling center so i could get paperwork to schedule an appointment. i couldnt breathe after leaving there and that wasnt even the hard part. 

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I am new here and read your posts. I am so sorry that this happened to you. My heart breaks for another wounded heart. That took a lot of courage to get that paperwork going. That is awesome!

I found that if  I can find a safe space; a place or person that allows me to let my guard down, then I can start to process and make some sense of my next best action. Sometimes that action is nothing more than taking a nap or doing something that makes me feel good. 

I am rooting for you and may you have peace today. Thank you for sharing. I learn so much from other people. Have a wonderful day.

 

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On 10/23/2021 at 5:01 AM, Mimi M. said:

I am new here and read your posts. I am so sorry that this happened to you. My heart breaks for another wounded heart. That took a lot of courage to get that paperwork going. That is awesome!

I found that if  I can find a safe space; a place or person that allows me to let my guard down, then I can start to process and make some sense of my next best action. Sometimes that action is nothing more than taking a nap or doing something that makes me feel good. 

I am rooting for you and may you have peace today. Thank you for sharing. I learn so much from other people. Have a wonderful day.

 

Thank you. I am sorry to have found you here but I am rooting for you as well. 

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