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God


Celia

994 views

They say God is real

They say he is alive

But really floating above

Saying everything is alright

 

Saying that he has a plan 

For each and one of us

Saying he is the protector 

And the father to all of us

 

But let me ask a question

Like… where has he been

Wasn't here during past years 

Or even when I was a kid

 

Left me alone

Even though he knew

He knew the truth of everything

Yet gave no one a single clue

 

If he was beside me

During the entire time

Why didn't he stop him

Why did he stay on the side

 

Why didn't he protect me

Be the father, or the God

Instead, he was a bystander 

He watched me cry as I was hurt 

 

He watched me scream in agony 

As it just got even worse

But he did nothing

He just let it all burst 

 

He saw me all confused 

At a loss of words

That I was unsure

Of what I was just told 

 

He watched me move slowly 

Cause he knew I was scared 

Everything done and said

Was their choice, I'm aware 

 

The entire time

I was flustered and scared

I was holding back tears

As I nod and stare

 

God, what on earth

You weren't even there 

You watched in TX and NC

You saw it through thin air

 

Not protecting me or guarding me

Just staring on the side

He let him hurt me badly 

Not once, but many times 

 

Now why tell me

I'm supposed to believe in God

He was never there for me

Never to be my guard

 

He even hurt my family

He let my family be hurt

And I have these memories 

That I can't just simply burn 

 

They cause me pain and agony

I cry about every night 

Sometimes I cut and bleed

Just to save me from dry eyes

 

But also as a punishment

Cause I didn't try to fight 

I guess I blame myself

For all of those abusive times

4 Comments


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How painful and hauntingly worded. The personal struggles with God are very relatable. I hope you felt some release in being able to write this down and share it here. Your thoughts are powerful and can be felt. You are not alone 💕 

Edited by WendyAlone
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So well written, I understand the struggle with God allowing me to be hurt and not stopping it. It is something I really struggle with 😔

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On 7/14/2021 at 8:19 PM, WendyAlone said:

How painful and hauntingly worded. The personal struggles with God are very relatable. I hope you felt some release in being able to write this down and share it here. Your thoughts are powerful and can be felt. You are not alone 💕 

Thank you 🥺😔

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22 hours ago, Doll6 said:

So well written, I understand the struggle with God allowing me to be hurt and not stopping it. It is something I really struggle with 😔

Same.  I'm very sorry that you and many others can relate.  It's heartbreaking. 

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