So I'm involved in a relationship for like the first time in years - over a decade. I've stayed well clear of men since my r*pe. But Idk, he seems kinda nice. But I'm freaking out about the sex side of things. He's gonna want sex and I don't know that I can. The only thing that comes to mind when I think of sex is how disgusting and painful and that no-one could possibly look past what happened to me and see me as clean. I can't see me as clean. So how do I cope with it? How do I enjoy it again? How do I feel safe? Urgh! How do I even have a conversation with him about all my hang-ups? How do I explain how crippled this whole damn r*pe has left me physically and emotionally without scaring him off? It seems impossible, especially for someone as insecure and introverted as me.