I find myself obsessed with a lot of things. With blood, with hurt, with the thin lines of pain streaming across my body. But with you? No. I am not obsessed.
Even though I can't breathe when you're not around and the sun doesn't shine as bright when you're gone. The birds don't sing and my heart feels heavy in your absence. Music doesn't make sense and words don't rhyme, the sky isn't blue and my heart isn't mine when you're not here. Obsessed? No. I am not obsessed.
My brain thinks about things constantly. About the way your eyes squint when you laugh. The way your smile radiates all over your body. The way the atmosphere changes when you walk into a room. I think about how your hands could hold the world right in your palm and you would still say that you are not important. I think about how galaxies and rainbows don't shine as bright as you. But I am not obsessed with you.
I am not in love. I am simply enthralled by the presence of your being. The way you are everything I wish I was and how you always know what I'm thinking before I even think it. The way your heart leaps out of your chest when you talk about something you love. The way kindness beams from your soul and the way you give without asking for anything in return. Yet still, I am not obsessed with you.
I love the sparkle in your eyes, the fire in your veins, the way I can hear your heart beating when the room is silent. I love the tempo of your words and the cadences of your emotions. I love that for you, pain is just a four letter word with no concrete residence in your home. I love that on rainy days, you create your own sun - you are the sun. I love that you have gardens filled with undying love and trees that you water with gratitude. And even though I love these things, I am not obsessed with you.
I sit by and watch as you drip love from your fingertips. I watch when your eyes flash with concern. I see the uncertainty daring to trickle in when you're faced with something you've not experienced. I've seen you when your heart was hurt and when you thought the world was dying. I've also seen you remember that love is never lost and the world doesn't stop turning. I've watched as the tears of doubt have pricked your eyes, but you stayed certain and thought no one noticed. And even though I've seen these things, I am not obsessed with you.
Even when you're here, it sometimes feels like you're thousands of miles away, and I can't run that far.
I could scream from the rooftops and say that I am not obsessed, but the truth is...
I can't define the word 'obsessed'.