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Erasing her from the world



Her husband seems to want to erase her from his life quickly. I just dont understand it. I know everyone grieves in their own way but he seems to want to erase every trace of her after her services. I am trying to hold on to every memory I can. Most of the time I am trying to keep her alive. Her things, I want them. Her pictures, I want them. Her things, I want them as she left them. At least let me accept that she is gone first. 

So Sunday I am going to pack up her things. I am going to pavk away my mom and what we dont or cant keep will be donated. Strangers will have parts of my mom. Strangers. If I could keep them all I would. I would hold on to them all anc not let them go.

He has to handle it his own way. He has to live in the house they shared and sleep in the bed they shared. He has her things as a daily reminder and I have to remember  that is a different kind of hurt. One I may never understand. I just am not ready to let go so quickly. I could probably never touch it and be ok. 

This grief thing is complicated. No one seems to be on the same path or even going to the same end. It is so lonely walking this direction alone. My sister wants her facr face everywhere.  I cant look at them. She is on a different path. I am not sure about my brother. He has been the most stable of us which is funny since we worried about him the most. Her sisters are all about this is God's will. I think God got sidetracked.  

I know there really isnt a wrong way to handle grief.  I just we were in more similar spaces. 


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