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Caregiving isnt just physical health...



I thought being a caregiver for my mom after 2 strokes, a seizure and watching her diabetes would be simple. I take care of her needs and get her to her appointments and make sure she takes her meds and gets her home health physical and occupational therapy done. I watch for signs of her diabetes acting up and signs of another stroke. It's hard but simple, right? What I didn't expect is theneedto handle her mental health.

I mean, I barely know how to manage my own mental health, how do I manage hers. And I saw the signs forming. Even during her hospital and rehab for 2 weeks, I saw it. The longer she stayed and the less answers the could provide, she was starting to falter. Now that she is home, she isn't just bouncing back and the new meds keep her tired. The more she wants to be back to normal, the less she is. So how do I help her with that? She doesn't have stamina to be out for longer than 30 mins and physically she cannot walk more than 5 ft without being fatigued so taking her places is out of the question. Plus we are in the middle of a potential winter storm so we cant go out and no one can come by. So what do I do? I am working during the week and her husband works overnights. 

I don't know how to do this part. I am a fixer but I cant fix this. They didn't show me how to handle her emotional health but people tell you how to manage mine as a caregiver. I dont know what to do. And I am trying not to let it show but it is starting to show. I watch her closer. I sleep for as little as I can especially at night. I can feel myself getting helpless to care for her needs. Because I am her child she doesnt feel comfortable confiding in me that way but I know and I see it and I feel like my hands are tied.

I need to figure out my next steps or she will not recover well.


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I read your post and as a past caregiver for family and current healthcare provider, I understand some of the stress.

It's okay to ask for help. You can't be in charge of your mother's mental health and she may need additional support for that. Some places offer free mental health support, other places are different.

There is a lot you're taking on and your health is important too. AARP usually has good links for caregiver support. There is a caregiver support network too. https://www.aarp.org/caregiving/



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Thank you for this info. I will read it. I know I cant assist her if both of us are not getting some help. It is definitely more than I expected. Really her state is more than I expected. She has contracted COVID so getting someone else in is out of question for now.

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