Today. I am thinking of trauma. I love being able to blog and say whatever I please. I can not be judged. Thinking back to that moment, when I woke up slumped over placed in a position like a rag doll, naked. I did not give permission to take my clothes off. It is sick. I hope he remembers it ...to his last living day, because it is not my problem he chose to do that. And to all the people that judge and talk about me because of that, that is there problem too. I feel bad for them. I see so many entries and blogs, that the victim feels bad. I understand everyone processes trauma differently. BUT FOR ME, if people find out I'm a victim, they can chose what they do with the information. Most days, it is just another memory but it makes me feel stronger and I pity the people that question if it is true. With so many questions why did it happen, I won't do it any longer. I will not get an answer, and furthermore I do not want his explanation. It was wrong, he was wrong. I can not stand being looked at differently for his wrong doing. I think back to how I felt before it took place, and why I still can't feel that way. I can and I will. I won't be angry for someone else's mistake. This year I have made goals for myself no one else and it is up to me to achieve them. I can't focus on a past event that was horrible in every sort of way.