Asking for help is so freaking hard. I mean the little things are easy. Can you help me move this table? Can you open this jar? But the big things...whew. Can you help me understand why this happened to me? Can you help me express myself feelings in less harmful ways? Even at work I find asking for help at certain levels is difficult. Again, the small tasks are no sweat. But if I feel like the expectation is I should be able to do it then the asking for help is harder.
This isnt something new. It has always been like this. I have found at times that I could to a degree. Like I am having a hard time and need someone to sit with me. But dont ask me details on the issue because I cant do that. I cant even say this is a result of what happened. Both started from the time I can remember. Maybe it was the result of other childood traumas. Having a drug addicted father at a young age will do that too. I took on roles I shouldnt have in both cases.
But why is it so hard? Why do I feel lesser than when I have to ask for help? Why does it feel like I am not living up to my potential when I ask for help? Society pushes the narrative at times that you have to do things on your own. That people can do things on their own and not rely on anyone else to help you. If you do that then what you accomplish is worth more. You earned it without needing anyone else. You will even value it more because you did it yourself. Which is crazy when you are then taught to help your fellow man. You are taught to be compassionate and empathetic and sympathetic. Seems contradictory but I guess life is full of contradictions.
So I/people suffer in silence because they dont know how to handle a situation but cant reach out either. So I/we turn to drugs, alcohol, anger, bullying, inappropriate relationships, develop mental healthand physical health issues. All because we live in a hypocritical world that wants to decide when someone deserves assistance rather than assuming we all need help at some point. Even the person at the top of society needed help no matter how small it was.
So how do you do it? Ask for help without feeling ashamed and trusting it will be provided? How do you get better and not feel weak for needing someone to show you the way? That's the struggle today.