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Months after (trigger warning)



It's been months since my daughter's case was thrown out because her attacker is not competent to stand trial or plea , I'm still mad and I'm still going crazy inside but I think about this was is competent? How can it be ruled hes not competent? He was competent enough to assault my child and enough to continue to look back at the door and make sure no one was coming , he was competent enough to hold his hand over her mouth! I just can't believe he got away with it no counseling nothing at all free to do this to another child free to grow into an adult and continue to do this. In march it will be one year since the assault even though my child is doing much better I can't get past the feeling that hes free to hurt another child . I pray all the time that God makes this right and stops him from claiming another victim.  I've thought of going public but again this is where the justice system knows they have you , I don't want my sweet 6 year old daughter to be looked at differently I don't want strangers to judge my child. I hate that I failed my child I should have never left her with the babysitter that day and I should have claimed justice that night with my bare hands I should have ended the cycle . Daily my heart breaks that I failed my daughter and daily it reminds me that I'm not a good mother if I was it wouldn't have happened to her she wouldn't be going through what I went through as a child. I swore that if I ever had children it would never happen to them so I have always been over protective of my children and I still don't understand why it had to happen to my child or any child! I done everything right my child was in her own home for Gods sake! Fuck the justice system fuck rapist and fuck the mothers of rapist that know what their children are and don't end that shit! Fuck you Mary! Fuck the cycle of boys and men hurting children and women! 


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