I’m feeling lost yet again. The trauma I’ve endured has come to haunt me once more. Not that it ever really goes away, but it gets a little easier once in awhile. I went out bowling the other night with some friends when some guy decided to hit on me multiple times even after ignoring advances. In turn I got really drunk and almost drunkenly confessed my trauma to one of my best guy friends who only knows half of my story. After that I realized I needed I had to have a sober conversation with him about the events that occurred so that the words would come out rationally instead of hysterical rambling. Since then I can’t stop thinking about hurting myself, any physical pain would be worth getting rid of the emotional right. I’m considering following through tonight. What do I have to lose? Nothing will ever hurt more than this. It’s been so long I’ve made great progress when it comes to self harm, it’s been over 2 years. Trying not to give in tonight.