My brother was my best friend he was supposed to come here this year and spend Thanksgiving and Christmas with my daughter and I. since he took his life he took that away from me and from my daughter. I am still trying to find my place in the world without him. going through the recent sexual assult I would have turned to him but hes not there. im alone in my head trying to wrap my brain around everything that has happened. I just don't know how to stay strong and im exhausted. why couldn't he care enough to stay here reach out to me I would have done anything, ANYTHING, in my ability to help him and support him. but he didn't give me that chance. I lost the only family I had besides my daughter.thats what he took to his niece being able to know him and love him and in return his love for her. I don't want to have to work through this assult alone but I guess I am meant to. I don't know where else I could get the support I get here as AS. I don't feel so alone and I am so THANKFUL for this and the lovely people here. its sad to know others are hurting and been hurt but in a strange way I guess feels good that at least someone out there knows what I am going through.