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Step I/Question VI: Do you isolate/how?


Freyja Lee

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Step I/Question VI:  Do you isolate yourself? If yes, how?

I don't normally look at it as 'I isolate myself'.  I just happen to spend a lot of time alone/with very limited people.  

The only people in my circle are my three children and my fiance.  I don't talk to my family and since ending unhealthy relationships with past friends and my children's family, I haven't made any new friendships.  Now that I am engaged, I do have new people in my life, his adult children, his friends and his family.  But I don't really talk to any of them outside of when we are all hanging out.  All that to say, outside my adult children and fiance, I don't have friends/family.  So this makes it easier to spend a lot of time alone.  

I started a new job 2 months ago, I am the ONLY person in the office.  I have Vice President's who are my 'boss' and come into the office maybe once a week for a meeting or to sign checks.  So now I am alone all day/all week at work — I'm starting to feel like this may not be a good thing.

Sometimes I accept invitations to attend something, and then when the day/time comes, I either end up being super late, or cancel all together.  It can even be something that sounded good and I was looking forward to, but when the time came, I'd just rather be home  or not be there— especially if I will have the house to myself :)

I do select isolation when in a group setting.  I will find a tucked away spot to be and not have to interact.  If I can't get away physically, then I will disengage from the conversation. Letting everyone else talk.  If necessary, I will throw in an occasional uh huh or that sounds interesting.  But I do not engage in the conversation, even when it is something that I can relate to or have input on.  I always feel like I'm doing this by choice, but when the time comes when I really should be participating in the conversation (still getting to know my fiancé's adult children and trying to interact is painful) I can't find a way to engage/participate.  And it is an awful feeling.

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