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The wait is nerve racking

aperson

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It has been 11 days since the biopsy and I have no results. My dr said she would have the results in about a week. It has been 11 days. Early on I was concerned but it was manageable. If the results came back negative for cancer, I would have the lesser invasive procedure that would stop the bleeding. If they were positive, I was prepared to have the hysterectomy and any other procedures to give my body a chance to fight. The longer the wait, the more I am nervous either way. The longer it takes the more anxiety that builds up in me.

Both procedures would make me sterile which is fine...I think. I have never wanted to be pregnant. But the longer I have to wait the more I think about what that loss means for me. In an odd way it feels like a loss of femininity. Logically I know that really wont change but the loss is there to some degree. I am worried that it wont be enough either way. What if I end up with a negative result and 10 years later it all returns. I had this issue with bleeding about 8 years ago. The dr then sounded so certain it wouldnt return but here I am. The reason seems to be different. Polyps then. Fybroids now. I chose the lesser invasive procedure then because the alternative gave me the same feeling of loss as today. It felt right then. It feels like a mistake today. 

I am trying to remain optimistic. When I told my dad he said the result is already set in place whatever it is. He will pray for healing no matter the result. I know that at this moment I am not ready to not fight to keep myself healthy and alive. I think about my aunt who had cancer and did not survive it. She fought with her last ounce of strength. I just dont know if the wait is a positive sign. If it was bad they would have contacted me immediately right? Or is it the wait is to determine how bad it is?

I dont know what the answer is right now. I do know I am going to try and not let the what-ifs take me to a dangerous place. I have never been so anxious about getting results from a dr as I am right now. I cannot wait for this to be over, one way or the other.



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Sitting with you as you wait to hear. I'm sorry that this is happening to you (again). The waiting for results is never an easy thing. Since there has been a holiday earlier this week perhaps that has delayed the results? Have you contacted the Dr's office to follow-up? It often amazes me how truly thoughtless the medical establishment can be here sometimes when there is a question of further ailments. Sending you healing and positive thoughts for a healthy outcome.

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Thank you for healing thoughts. I am trying to be patient because of the holiday. I am going to call them if I havent heard anything by Tuesday. 

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I can relate so well to what you are going through.  I worked a whole year with bleeding from uterine polyps.  You will survive this too.  Don’t get ahead of yourself.  Remember to breathe. Wait for the results and you will make the best desiciones possible based on that information. About children.  You can always freeze ovules and use them later.  I have friends who have later had children with the help,of surrogate mothers.  Also adoption, etc. etc.  So much can be done nowadays.  I had severe anemia in 2014.  Finally I stopped bleeding and have not removed my uterus. I may have to still in the future and get check ups once a year.  I will pray for you to not feel worried, scared or bad.  Unfortunately life comes with negative things, but know you are not alone.  I’m happy you are here and have people who care.

gentle hugs

awi

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Thanks awi. I am remaining positive that all is well. The first time, I did wait nearly a year before getting a procedure done for polyps. This time I acted much quicker so I was not as anemic. As for kids, I may not have been clear. Being sterile is not really an issue for me. I have been certain since I was 7 or 8 that I have no desire to be pregnant or have kids that are biologically mine. I had planned to adopt but life got in the way. It is a psychological thing of feeling less feminine. It is the craziest contradiction but it exists to a smallish degree.

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Hi, again I can relate.  I also decided not to have children but at age 10.  I wanted to adopt.  And life did also get in the way.  Another wow.  I so understand the feminine thing.  But look if this helps.  My sister got it done and didn’t notice a difference.  She is married and has no kids it has been 5 years since. The only difference she says is no more periods.  I still haven’t got one done.  I have huge polyps but no more bleedings.  I personally had trouble getting the procedure done because it reminds me of things that happened to me I won’t mention as I don’t wish to upset you.  Sit tight. Wishing you all the best.  

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