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Stuckinthepast

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My Story

      I don't remember the exact age I almost want to say I was 18. I was sold in an online auction to some guy in Aussie. For those who don't know what Aussie means it means Australia. The guy paid half of my price promising to pay the rest. Well the rest never came. Now these guys were stalking me and the suggestion is it was someone who worked at the group home I was in who helped drug me and take me to a condo by some beach. I remember the beach smell. They tied me up and beat me with a belt and called me derogatory names. I wasn't really coherent because of the drugs I was given. Then they took turns sexually assualting me. The thing that gets me the most is the fact they sat me in the shower and bathed me while the shower was in my face. I somehow got back in the middle of the night during the night shift.  Thats the basics of what happened. without the vulgar and gross details. 

      Now i struggle to do a lot of things that I used to do.Showering/taking a bath is so hard for me. I am scared of males I don't know. I get scared of dark SUV's and Dark small cars. I feel like they took everything from me. I feel like this constant battle of anxiety. There are days I don't want to get out of bed. It's complicated how I feel.

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I was also beaten with a belt and then forced to take a shower.  The water coming from the shower head felt like a million needles hitting my skin because of the large red welts from the belt beating that I experienced.  I never realized it until recently, but I prefer to take baths over showers.  I think the trauma from standing under the shower after my severe beating has made me adverse to showers in general.

 

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@TeeGee All i remember was sitting in the bathtub with the water from the shower running on top of me. I don't remember the pain hitting me until a few days after because i was so drugged up.

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Hi,

I know it's hard. I know some days getting out of bed is the battle you face and it takes everything you have...yet no one realizes the struggle you have inside. No one appreciates the small victories you have every day. I'm not saying I have anything good to tell you or any advice...I go through similar things. every day. But, if you ever wanna chat, vent, appreciate the small victories...Message me.

Alice.

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