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I texted A today about any records or pictures of me he had from my mom's stuff he had stored at his house. 

We had a brief phone conversation.

He is trying to talk me out of remembering. 

But he said some stuff that unlocked a few of the boxes in my head.

I thought I was 12 when I picked up that gun. Turns out I might of been 10 or 11.

We lived at the last farm for a year or so longer after E left. We didn't move to town till after the divorce was finalized.

After we talked I had a few memories of that time. Nothing horrible just stuff.


Me playing alone. My childhood friends were E nephews. I wasn't very popular with them after I tried to shoot their uncle. 

I guess my grandparents lived with us there for awhile. I don't remember that.

And I have the timeline if a couple of incidents wrong. They happen at the 2nd farm not the last.

From what he said I guess the divorce went on for a while both A and J testified at the hearing. The court decided I was to young.

I don't remember any of this.

He did say that I was E favorite punching bag, maybe because I fought back. With just words of course, he had 100 or so lbs on me and 12inch or so of reach. 

He keep texting trying to get me to drop it.

I think he is scared of what I remember. I told I remembered things I wasn't going to discuss with him.

And just in case he finds this, Yes I remember the Gamed you and J played with me. I just don't remember how long we played then and what you 2 did to me as you and I got older. But I do have suspicions.

But I don't blame either one you and I have forgiven both you years ago. But I also don't blame me. And I forgiven my self for all the insanity in me it caused.

when I got home I decided to tell my wife about talking to my bother. She was very supportive .






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