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"Demons"

AlyssaLane

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I did a bad thing. I was scrolling through Facebook the other day and just casually looking at memes, my favorite pass time. But Facebook always has your suggested friends that interrupts the memes every few post. And in those suggested friends, I saw my rapist. I stared at his photo for a moment just kind of disgusted. He looked so happy and care free. I know I shouldn't have done it but... I clicked the profile. 

I didn't realize how active he had been the past few months. I thought he was still in jail or on the other side of town selling crack. He has another fake name. Looking at his profile made me sick. We had so many mutual friends including: my brother, my friend Moose, my co-worker, and several old friends from high school. I couldn't believe that even after my brother found out what he did to me, he's still his friend on Facebook. He also has a very pretty girlfriend and I'm honestly scared for her. I'm afraid he could hurt her like he hurt me. 

What really pissed me off, though, were the dozens of posts of people saying to let him out of jail on his page and his countless birthday wishes. He posted tons of photos of him with all the money he makes. In every selfie he takes, he's smiling. I hate that he's so happy, considering he's made me so miserable. 

The worst post was this post he made about all the "demons" he had been fighting lately. Quote: "And ive been fighting demons latley swear yall dont know what i be going thru..." 

First of all, he's clearly not the most educated person out there. Second, for some reason the use of the word "demon" really irritated me. Because, yes I suppose in a sense we all have demons. But the only thing that shit head has to go through is getting through the cops so he can sell more drugs. Part of me wonder if maybe his "demon" would be guilt from what he did to me, but I doubt that's what it was. I doubt he cares. I guess I wanted it to affect him in the same way it affected me. I wanted something from the whole thing to tear him up inside, too. 

But I just blocked him. I decided it wasn't worth looking at and putting myself through that. I'm fine just fine continuing to live my life without him in it. 



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I am so sorry. I am happy that you blocked him so that it won't  happen again. I can't believe your brother has not done the same. I know that hurts you. 

He isn't happy...I promise you that. Reading your description of his life tells me that. 

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Hey...I know we haven't talked in a while but I wondered how you'd been...The fact you went through this and I wasn't there for you really bothers me. Reach out if you ever need to talk. You know my number. 

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