Back Pain
The pain started three nights ago, a searing pain in back, right where the pain of numerous kidney infections began when I was seven eight nine. When I was nine I was hit with a searing burning pain and I knew it was another kidney infection so I did not tell anyone until I was moaning in pain when my mom yelled at my dad I need to go to the doctor again for an infection but this time I could tell it was different it felt swollen, like someone had kicked me, he got mad and threw me in the bathroom on the toliet, go he hollered and I was so dizzy i fell off, got up on my knees and threw up which enraged hjim and he hit my upper back, calling me retard and waste of time and threw me in the shower, then threatened if I got another infection i would end up going to an institution , so I got up swallowed my sick, took a shower, went to the doctor, I had a bruised kidney from TW<<<<<<<<his attempt at anal sex but he told the doctor i fell out of the car, yep the doctor was a friend of my dads and gave me pain pills that dad told mom was for my severe kidney infection, I had blocked the pain out of my head until a few nights ago, then i had a flashback and was convinced my dad was going to beat me again , yesterday I went to immeadiate care and while waiting in the examing room remembered everything, then found out it is sciatic nerve not kidney but still today am so scared and so little, I am so tired of being hit with visions of new hell every day. so tired of fighting and begging to be taken care of, i begged hubby to come home which lead to another useless fight, not sure how much more hell i can remember. i want peace. i want to go, but i cant do that to people that love me so right now i will settle for this back pain to go away with the memories of hell that come with it. teleah
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