Yep. Fuck this life.
I take public transportation and once again as a woman - beautiful inside and out are we all , sassy, funny, strong, and cool - I was reminded by a fucktard that I'm just here to be harassed.
By the way, lately I've been reading quotes from Karen Straughan. She's on youtube. Wow, Karen. Just wow.
I don't recommend reading or listening to this horribly self hating yet hilariously bitter muppet unless you've had a lot of strong morning coffee. But if you ever thought you were, you know, special, she's the antidote.
Off to my original thought this morning. Yea, here it is. People are fucks. I've got no illusions about that. They are always judging you online and off, nursing whatever secret bitterness and jealousy resides in their bitter hearts. If you don't threaten them, they might treat you OK. If you do, forget it. People are incredible fucks. I've known that for years.
And, I live in the land of the Trump. And I've noticed men becoming bolder. The cockroaches have come out to play.
So I take the bus and often, due to living where I do and the time I take it, I'm sometimes the ONLY FUCKING PERSON ON THE FUCKING BUS.
I guess for some dudes this is too much to handle. Female bus drivers don''t bother me - and incidentally, in my life, I've had ONE incident of harassment from a woman, a lesbian woman I lived with in a homeless shelter. Otherwise, women don't harass me. Men do.
So I make the mistake - the beauty? The kindness? Of talking to this guy. He wears cheap aftershave, has a beard, sunglasses, and smiles a lot. I don't get any particularly vibe because cockroaches are good at hiding what they are . Read about narcissists and listen to youtubers talk about them. Wolf in sheep's clothing indeed, Mama. He is smart. People aren't what they do, they just are what they are.
And we somehow end up talking about politics and then he leans over slightly at some point and says, "As a woman, would you make love to Trump?" after discussing in a humorous way his current wife.
I'm not stunned so much as realising that once again the cockroaches are everywhere. THIS iS FUCKING PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION. AND ASKING ME ANY QUESTION IN WHICH SEX IS PART OF THE EQUATION IS NOT GONNA FLY.
I said no wrinkling up my face in shock and disgust. At his question, at him, at life, at how anytime I open up the door one iota and am kind to sexually insecure men I am treated to this bullshit. To how my entire life has been spent dealing with male sexual insecurity, their need to dominate, to have power over me. Men who want emotional wives on the internet, men who want to stare, men who want to touch, men who want to treat me like I'm an object, to use me, to abuse me, to have a mommy. Weak ass motherfucking men who aren't worth a hair on my head. The good men I've known, far and few in between.
On Monday I am speaking to Mr. Smiley about this. He'll either apologise, deny, or be a di*k, but I am letting him know if another word like that comes out of his mouth I'm reporting him. Once again I have to educate. Once again I have to assume the burden. Once again an asshole abuser sails through his life, his weekend, no doubt, beautifully fine, while I sit here typing up this shit, quite alone in my fight against the world.
I've met too many fuckboys to count. I gave up long ago on meeting a good one. I've found them all and tracked them down including in the spirit world. I'm tired of y'all's shit.
Women, raise your men to respect women. Men, raise your men to respect women.
And treat me like I'm worthy of some respect, but shit, I know that's too much to ask for in this fucked up cruel cold capitalistic society. And if you can't, you will find the consequences quite shockingly in your face. I will continue to respect me, however. In spades.
Can't wait for Monday. 'Cause I'm fucking over this BULLSHIT.
PS, Mr. Smiley? Sorry about the small di*k problem.