I thought I was fixed

You’ve pushed yourself too hard by taking care of everyone but YOU.  When we don’t practice self care, those thoughts that we tuck neatly into little boxes in our brains sneak out and torture us.  But you are strong.  You’ve been clean for 4 years.  That is amazing! You are amazing!  

You've started back on the road to self care by staying home these past 2 days. (Hurray!) By allowing yourself to come first sometimes you’re telling the world you’re not their doormat. 

People on this site care about you.  When you feel your lowest, know that we’re here. 🙂

And you're not the only one who has a mom that was too self-involved to properly care for her daughter. Good on you for not giving up your 4 years! It can be really hard to take care of yourself when you've fallen into a pattern of taking care of everyone else. I wish you lots of courage as you establish boundaries that work for you.

@WVSurvivor I have many problems with my mum. She is so critical and controlling. I take it but it makes me hurt, anxious, angry. Can’t she see that it is tall about her. She loves to give me little emotional digs, references to the past. “You won’t start drinking again will you, that will destroy your children and they need you” and so on. Laying on the guilt. Alwyat her bel and call because she has “no one else “ and needs me. It is emotional blackmail and I hate it. I vow never to be like my mother. She lived with us and you know, I got so ill, my husband thre her out on to the street and told her to go. Of course, I blamed myself because I wasn’t well as I hadn’t even spoke out about sexual abuse. It was one moreover thing to feel guiyabout. My daughters say no one would blame me if I never spoke to her again but I couldn’t do that.

I get how you feel it is a difficult one. I have learned to be harder and if she really knows she won’t get away with her bullshit she won’t do it. Has been difficult to put into practice though. X thinking of you and all those with controlling mothers xx