teleahstears

Sitting with you, always...

DBNB

TW......Maybe they were right, maybe i am worth nothing, that is what haunts me, maybe all i existed for was to be his doll and her caretaker ? Maybe I am a useless piece of nothing, There has been no evidence proving that theory wrong, Trying so hard tonight to not listen to those voices so i do not fall any further down the rabbit hole of complete self hatred.

I and many others vehemently disagree. 

So sorry you’re feeling this...sitting with you...

DBNB

Exactly this. 

6 hours ago, DamagedButNotBroken said:

I and many others vehemently disagree. 

 

Abusers do not get to set our personal worth.  Sitting with you teleah.

Fell down the rabbit hole and Tw....self harmed last night and am so discouraged, disappointed in myself, how can i not hate myself when i continue to be so weak ?

Sending you love.

Thank you to all of you for your support, I just emailed my sister's dad, I have kept too many secrets to keep hers. I worked so hard this week to keep her on an even keel but just like with my mom it does not seem to work, I am working so hard again for someone who does not appreciate it. I feel so defeated and exhausted when i think of all the effort i have put in being moms daughter and dads girlfriend and i am so sad that all that effort was for nothing, i am alone now, no acknowledgement for keeping his sick secrets, for protecting his sick acts of for protecting my mom from him, herself, the world. I can not stop grieving for that little girl who worked so hard and it was all for nothing, really struggling today with this, teleah

Once again today I found out that I am working so hard for my sister, for nothing, stepdad has not called me after I emailed him and tried to get sister help and sister called to have me be her secret keeper, this time about her boyfriend, so tired of working so hard to be, working so hard to be reminded again and again this is all for nothing, teleah

Well as we speak her dad is planning on taking a day and going to go get her so she will be safe, away from an unsafe boyfriend, he is driving up and getting her stuff and she will move in with him, where she will have his warm hugs, support and know he is there for her despite her mental illness, eating disorder and bpd while i dream of one day of being loved by a real parent, ones that do not hurt you but support, fight and fight words like useless, done, exhausted and hope all this work to heal from my abuse has not been all for nothing, that one day i will feel as safe as my sister does with him, ouch, teleah