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teleahstears

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What you left me

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teleah

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What you left me mom, what you left behind, was haunting words like retard mistake stupid not living up to my potential, a family you pushed away so i sided with you and now i have no family, a broken spirit that could never do anything right, make you happy, make you proud just because I was your daughter, anger searing my gut for all the times you told me i was waste of space and time, angry you never protected me from vile people, but no that was not enough mom, you left me with a sister you convinced needed you to live, needed to fight with you to give her a reason not to drink herself to death, eat and survive, you also left with a man who raised my sister with love. protection, care, he took an airplane to visit her, and you know who you left me with a pedophile father that you insisted i honor and respect, a man that gave me to his father when i was three, took lurid pictures of me with his sick best friend till i was 11 and moved, you left with a man who tried to sell me at 17 and was furious when i talked too much that the 40 year old man didnt want me, you left me with a man who took my innocence, my sense of wonder at love, sex, my first time and never said sorry or admitted he was wrong and you left her with a man who said he was sorry he wasnt there for her, exposed her to you, thanks , thanks for leaving me with a constant reminder. my worthlessness to you, thank you for leaving me with the legacy that my sister gets my happy ending and i was left with a monster under my bed, buried deep in my head, my heart and my gut, thank you for leaving me a legacy of nothing mom, teleah

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