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uncomfortable (TW)

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Survivor0509

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ever since I was a little girl I was uncomfortable in my own skin always looking in the mirror staring for what felt like hours sometimes I would skip meals an make the excuse I was sleeping.. but ever since I turned 16 I have restricted things an would fast for 5 days an when I would eat the lil bits I did it would be a few hundered calories then I turned 17 an it got worse an worse an after may 9th iv completely had no appetite.. It would be time for dinner an thinking about food would make me feel so sick … I wouldn't eat all day then my mom comes homes from work so I put up a front ..ill eat .. so se thinks im okay then after dinner ill run to the bathroom or out back... im sure you know what I mean when going there after dinner after dinner till I go to bed at 4 am its a living hell...

binge purge 

binge purge

binge purge 

an if I manage to fall asleep through these hours of hell my body will wake me up just to do it an do a intense workout after … 

this has been going on for two almost 3 weeks the binging an purging.. iv told ne person but he reassures me your not fat you need to eat to take care of your body an be healthy  if im not fat then why when I look in the mirror that's all I see an I hate how I look an feel when I binge I feel guilty but when I purge it makes me feel so good an empty .. I trying not to it but its like my body cant go without it...

 

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