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A Journey

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Just A Mess



I'm finally feeling comfortable to move onto relationships, actually making and improvements and actively pursuing a really great guy. Unfortunately, I made the awesome yet terrible decision to introduce this guy, I'll call him A, to my best friend as a potential wedding photographer (I'm her maid of honor). She selected him and hired him just for the wedding and was having me do her engagement photos. I took them in May. She had her engagement party at the end of June and all of July I've been swamped. But plan I was that I wasn't going to edit a bunch of these because she wanted a second set and it would be silly to have a ton.

Well, at the concert her and fiance attended, that I attended with A, she brought up these unedited photos again as a means to trying to push me closer to him. This "helpful" gesture has done the exact opposite because now I look unreliable, plus I"m mentally going nuts over the photos. I spent 2 hours on 2.5 photos this morning then my computer died. This afternoon right as I sat back down with my computer my dad needed it help. It took 5 hours to finish one photo! It has me completely breaking down because all I intended to work on today were my photos. I just wanted a clear day without distractions and I was going to knock them all out. I even announced this as my plan yesterday, yet everyone else decided last minute to take on projects that they need my help with. Instead of feeling accomplished and having a pile of photos done I'm just a complete mess crying at my computer. 

It's such a small thing I have no clue why it's frustrating me so much, but I just feel like shit about it all.


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