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long time no see

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Survivor0509

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dad.....

you disowned me after everything happened to me blaming me.. that im stupid an to never ever talk to you again..

last time I seen you in person was my 17th birthday for 3 seconds in Walmart. 

the last time you talked to me on the phone was may  10th for 3 minuets as you lectured me... 

yesterday Sunday august 5th,2018… you pulled up to moms house to drop off  sister an as you were waiting for her to come back out I happened to see you … all emotions started an my anxiety went extremely high as I seen you lean against the back of your truck on your phone I got so angry an so upset at the same time an wanted a hug... I miss the old you... you use to sit an watch blue clues with me on Saturdays an as I got older sponge bob then johnny bravo a icarly  we use to make dinners together with grandma  your first born.. how crazy im about to be 18 an you only been in my life a total of maybe 5 years cause as a baby you wanted nothing to do with me until I was about 6 then once I was 11 you left again cause we could not get along at all mom says its just cause two stubborn people butt heads but you expect me the child to be the grown adult I went outside in front of you an looked at you an you dropped your phone to your side an I held my hand up an said before you say anything..

IT IS NOT MY FAULT *tears streamed down my  face*

I did not asked to be r88ed I did not rip my cloths off an say me me me!

he was speech less I said im your daughter YOUR SUPPOSE TO BE MY DAD if you weren't ready you shouldn't have got my mom pregnant I wish you would put on your big boy pants on you can do it for your other family but not me? what did I do that was so wrong..? im just being me... 

I hugged him an broke down so bad an cried a lot for what felt like ages an then I let go an said I love you but why did you hurt me so bad you know that I need you especially the most right now he had nothing to say as I walked away I said you know where to reach me the look on his face was like oh.... shit....

I miss you dad...

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