People have always said to me that if I feel bad cuz someone hurt me it's my fault that the only one who hurts me is me.
Forever I hated that. I'd try to not be hurt & obviously that didn't work.
My therapist and I were exploring the concept how when someone hurts me what i should focus on is not about that person, that he's bad and did the wrong thing. Even though that may be.
What matters the most for me is how it is affecting me. That person may never apologize, so where would that leave me if I depend on him. Instead I could try to figure out a way to deal with what I felt.
I realized this addresses the same thing as what people say that i mentioned in the beginning. Meaning, how I proceed does not depend on the one who hurt me. It's not about being my fault.