I want to journal the tough stuff in a safe place, a safe manner. My life has been manipulated, pushed, pulled ... fried in so many ways...because of their beliefs. Oh my, and Dear God ... help me, Lord
When I first came here, it seemed so dark and painful...truth it still does...and I long to help at least one victim here recover....but I don't know how to do that myself.
Today, I worked on negative thoughts for myself to change and not let the vile bitterness of unworthy friends...eat me alive. I have to. I have one thing to ask. Just Joy in the Lord...for what it's worth and a kind smile that says what I"ve done today meant something to someone.
My work takes me a long way from home...I'm not even sure I don't pay to do the work...it's minimum wage and a lot of gas...but I"ve never been happier with the clients I work for. They are sufferers in need...and the greatest need is love. My friend often tells me get a better paying job...that suits me. This suits me...I NEED this. My fear is the financial bottom dropping out before my ship comes in. What ship? I laugh a little at that...the pinta... whew long wait for that one.
God says it's coming and to trust in Him...so I will keep the faith and sing, "Jesus take the wheel" as often as I need. I will make this a positive journey for me...in due time, I will. In due time...