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Again. Almost.



To whom it may concern,

I know it seems impossible, improbable but I must attract horrible experiences. Maybe I did something in a previous life. Maybe I was a murderer. Possibly Jack the Riper. Seems to be fitting punishment if I was. 

Last night, I had a migraine. Usually, cold air helps so I decided, like an idiot, to go out for a walk around 2 am. Stupid, right? I was just heading back home, another 20 min and I would be in my house, warm and safe but that future was not in the cards for me I suppose. I didn't even hear anyone behind me or anything. I was preoccupied by the throbbing in my head so my breath was sorta knocked out of me when I got pinned against a wall, punched in the stomach. 

When I managed to yell, he decided he would choke me. Called me a stupid bit*h over and over and over again. I almost blacked out and a part of me thought "If I just fall asleep, it'll be over when I wake up." but another part of me didn't want to know how this ended or why I was pinned or why he was chocking me. I just wanted to get out of there. I mustered up the last bit I had and pretended to reach for his face so he was preoccupied when I kneed him as hard as I could and caught my breath. I kicked him a few more times when he hit the ground and I ran. All the way home. I passed out in bed and woke up in the morning.

I have spots all over my face. Internet says it's blood vessels that have popped. Apparently it happens sometimes if you've been choked. I also have bruising on my neck that sorta looks like his hands around my neck and a bruise on my stomach where he punched me. I'd show you the scars but I'd rather stay anonymous. I don't want to go to the police or explain why I was out at 2 am. I don't wanna be pegged as a girl who was asking for it. I don't need that. 

But because I am afraid he might do it to someone else....I asked around, found out his name, pulled a few strings with some cop friends I have and they will be keeping a close eye on him and making it very well known. 

Feels like I attract shitty people.

I told my boyfriend. He hadn't slept last night so although he's concerned, he's sorta in and out with the whole support thing. I think he doesn't know what to say and I don't blame him. I couldn't ask for more. I wouldn't want to. He's great and just because I was stupid doesn't mean he needs to come to my rescue haha. 

Anyways, that's all I got for now. 





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I'm sorry that that happened to you. I want you to know that you're not an idiot for going for a walk. For some reason that's what stuck out to me, initially. I think a lot of us have this bad inclination to find some kind of reason to blame ourselves in one way or another, and it's not your fault. You should tell the police, I think. I always regretted not doing. But, honestly, I'm not really one to take my own advice. I hope that you heal and things get better for you. 

Again, I'm really sorry. I know how shitty this kind of garbage can be. 

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