I've always felt that noone cares about me. Even if they said they care. BECAUSE WHY SHOULD THEY CARE ABOUT ME? I'M DAMAGED BOTHERSOME BORING HURTFUL... I never felt that my therapist cares. It is a foreign concept to me: Why should someone else care about me? I couldn't get the logic. So whenever people would do anything nice for me I'd think they are pitying me, if even.
Then last summer I was feeling terrible. My mentor gave me like $70 and paid for a psychiatrist appointment. I was like WHY? WHY WOULD YOU GIVE ME MONEY?
She answered that she sees what a nice sensitive beautiful person I am and she appreciates me. And she considers it an honor to be connected to me. At that point it was very hard for me to accept positive things about myself. However that started me on a growth pattern of recognizing there are some special people who appreciate others even though I talk slow and have physical and emotional difficulties.
She told me I could have a Treasure Chest of the special people who I BELIEVE respect me and love me. This has given me more confidence to give myself permission to search for positive qualities in myself