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elisand
Message added by elisand

I think while focusing on that I am a good guy and treasure my positive stuff I am able to open up my ability to show that nice guy. I guess I cover up that part a lot. 

I really wonder why

#5 Other people care

elisand

Entry posted by elisand ·

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I've always felt that noone cares about me. Even if they said they care. BECAUSE WHY SHOULD THEY CARE ABOUT ME? I'M DAMAGED BOTHERSOME BORING HURTFUL...                  I never felt that my therapist cares. It is a foreign  concept to me: Why should someone else care about me? I couldn't get the logic. So whenever people                                                     would do anything nice for me  I'd think they are pitying me, if even. 

Then last summer I was feeling terrible. My mentor gave me like $70 and paid for a psychiatrist appointment. I was like WHY? WHY WOULD YOU GIVE ME MONEY?

She answered that she sees what a nice sensitive beautiful person I am and she appreciates me. And she considers it an honor to be connected to me.                                                    At that point it was very hard for me to accept positive things about myself. However that started me on a growth pattern of recognizing there are some                                                    special people who appreciate others even though I talk slow and have physical and emotional difficulties.

She told me I could have a Treasure Chest of the special people who I BELIEVE respect me and love me. This has given me more confidence to give myself permission to search for positive qualities in myself

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DakotaSun

I found these tools helpful. Thanks for posting. I felt the same way about gifts and help I never expected it and wondered what would be wanted in return but there are some good people. 

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elisand
9 hours ago, DakotaSun said:

I felt the same way about gifts and help I never expected it and wondered what would be wanted in return

like you didn't believe they would do something for you. That they would find something in you to be attracted to. 

So there is really something in me and you that others like and want to show that they feel it a privilege to do something nice for us.

 

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pattyr

I can relate.  It can be subtle and deep, this belief that I would just be a burden or an obligation, or tolerable, rather than a positive force in someone's life.

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