So I have counseling tomorrow and I’m actually looking forward to think it. I never thought I would be excited to go talk about how fucked up my life is but I actually feel like maybe it is helping. I’m looking forward to talking about this past week and how crazy it’s been and how well I’ve done and managed no to cut even though there was plenty of opportunities to do so. I’m kinda skeptical about telling my story out loud. It’s qlot easier to write it down then it is to say it out loud. I actually really trust her and I hope it can stay that way. My husband ask if he could go with me and i told him no. I hope he doesn’t feel like I’m rejecting him or something I’m just not ready for that. I know tomorrow’s gonna be a really rough session but I’m ready for that.I think I have prepared myself for it as much as I can for it I just hope I don’t shut down in the middle of it and not wanna talk about it anymore. I hate when I start to shut down, I feel like I’m not accomplishing anything. I’m just gonna need some sitters cause I know afterwards I’m gonna be a complete mess!