I can’t stand all the memories that are coming back and all the triggers I’m having it sucks so bad I hate how angry I am I can feel myself taking it out on everyone but it’s not there fault I had a chance to talk to my counselor about it but I was to afraid to say it out loud. I know I’ve only had 3 sessions so far but I really like her and I wish I could just come out and tell her everything that’s running in my head but it’s so hard I did trust someone before and they betrayed me and maybe that’s why it’s so hard for me to open up to her. I hate that I’m paying her to listen to my problems and to fix me but paying her isn’t even such a big deal I don’t even care about it but I feel like I’m wasting her time but not really opening up. I know that I should just kinda open my mouth and let everything flow out but it’s like i have a funnel in my mouth and only certain things will come out I just want to be an open book with her if she would just ask I could tell her I don’t mind answering questions no matter how personal they are I just can’t come out and say it. Maybe for the next session I can write everything down I want to talk about and give her the list and we can go down the list? Idk I just hate feeling this way and I hate being so angry all the time.