Let's try Tool #1
I find it hard to look at all people in the face. Why? maybe cuz I feel so ashamed. maybe cuz I am so afraid of what people think about what i say and do. can i look at them? I'm scared. What could happen? They will see who I am. What am I? a dirty worthless rag who always acts awkward. Can't they see what I did today. And I'm so much worse than them, my body doesn't cooperate.
Well, I learned something new: people only see the part of me that they are interacting with. The bus-driver only sees the part of me that is what I am showing which is that I'm getting on the bus and paying. Even if I pay weirdly, that's the only part he saw. He didn't see that I was abused and that I have no friends and all the anxiety and loathing i have in regard to myself.
Will this tool change my ability to not be as embarrassed when I mess up? Let me know what happens for you.
I do speak about tools I learn in therapy. This will be helpful I hope but I don't expect that it can take the place of personal therapy. But it might serve as an example and help us bring the tools we learn into our lives.
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