Jump to content
Some browsers are having difficulty with functionality. Please try an alternative browser, if this is happening to you. If you are having connectivity issues beyond this or or need assistance, email us at: aftersilence.moderators@gmail.com! ×
After Silence continuing intermittent maintenance--Click here for latest updates ×
Followers 0
  • entries
    19
  • comments
    21
  • views
    3,367
elisand
Message added by elisand

I tried it when i went on the train. I acted how I wanted to. It makes me feel more free

elisand
Message added by elisand

Again I found focusing on this lets me feel more free.

I'm able to let myself be more loud. 

 

Let's try Tool #1

elisand

Entry posted by elisand ·

958 views

Followers 0

I find it hard to look at all people in the face. Why? maybe cuz I feel so ashamed. maybe cuz I am so afraid of what people think about what i say and do. can i look at them? I'm scared. What could happen? They will see who I am. What am I? a dirty worthless rag who always acts awkward. Can't they see what I did today. And I'm so much worse than them, my body doesn't cooperate. 

Well, I learned something new:  people only see the part of me that they are interacting with. The bus-driver only sees the part of me that is what I am showing which is that I'm getting on the bus and paying. Even if I pay weirdly, that's the only part he saw. He didn't see that I was abused and that I have no friends and all the anxiety and loathing i have in regard to myself. 

Will this tool change my ability to not be as embarrassed when I mess up?  Let me know what happens for you.

 

I do speak about tools I learn in therapy. This will be helpful I hope but I don't expect that it can take the place of personal therapy. But it might serve as an example and help us bring the tools we learn into our lives.

2 Comments

Recommended Comments

elisand

CONCLUSION:i met someone and was able to focus on the part she was seeing about me- so i stayed away from talking about how hard life is for me. 

That is a very big accomplishment because usually i feel like the victim part of me is being ignored. My therapist said today that this is a major part of my being in control that i could decide which part of me to show. Control is so so important cuz with abuse control was taken away

:)

Link to comment
elisand

Additionally, now I am finding an ability to hold off on all personal information. I just came to my parents house and am currently able to control how much to react to things that bother me. 

I chose whether to show them that! I didn’t expect them to be any better than they are acting and am contemplating in what way to act with them. 

Link to comment

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...