Things are starting to link up in my mind, behaviors and feelings that I have make sense. Why I do things and why I don't do things.
Every time I come home I lock every door, even when a family member is right behind me.
I never open my door.
I always carry a pen in my hand.
I never look people in the eye when walking.
Cause I am scared.
I know he can't hurt me, but I can't stop thinking about it. Its why I want so desperately to leave town.
Its why I don't feel safe, not at home, work or school. Only in my car. The one place he never touched.
I don't know how to really gest rid of these feelings and fears, I don't know if you can. Maybe it will help to leave, but will it help even then? I don't know. I never know, even when I think I do .