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Living with pain


Tigerswallowtail

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This will have to be short as I don't have much time, but I need to write.

Pain has been a daily companion for me, whether it is physical or emotional.  I really can't remember what it's like to wake up without physical pain.  How much of it is related to my past abuse and the emotions I struggle with because of it, I don't know.  The last two weeks have been really bad, with headaches almost every day.  Some to the point where I've had to cancel plans/work and go to bed.  I have been doing better emotionally, but today not so good.  I think the headaches are just getting to me.

There are some good things happening.  I think I finally am getting some direction for my life, this new me that I am discovering.  It is hard though to not worry about if the headaches will keep me from being able to realize this dream, or keep me from being able to hold down a regular job.  I'm trying to not let those thoughts discourage me from pursuing these changes in my life. But it is hard to not let my old habits of fear shut me down.

This is a new day, and a new year is coming with new possibilities.  I won't let the pain and fear hold me back.

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