It's not your fault your friends left you. Its not your fault your brother became addicted to drugs or that your dog passed away. I know you hung out with those two girls because you so badly wanted to be them, to walk in their shoes, to be a real girl. Your worth isn't based on what she thinks of you. Her deciding to be friends with the bullies or let her brother hit you with a stick was not okay. It doesnt matter if they were only playing, those things hurt and she didn't seem to care. But trust me, you are a real girl deep down, and there is an amazing group of women friends waiting for you down the road.